New photo's from our new roving photographer - I'm thinking about running a monthly caption competition too - what do you think?
FEMALE PRAYER Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who's loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks. When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks. I pray that he is gainfully employed. When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to hit on my friend. Amen..
MALE PRAYER: I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a dog I can borrow without feeding, cleaning out, exercising or TRAINING!. Amen.
Showers
FEMALE SHOWER :
-Take clothes off and neatly fold and place in laundry.
-spend 15mins removing make-up
-walk across landing pulling dressing gown tightly around the body so to avoid giving husband unnecessary cause for arousal
-lock bathroom door
-visit toilet and gently clean and fragrance room after use
-hang dressing gown up look in full length mirror and get slightly depressed at any slight lumpy bits
-caringly shave legs
-climb into shower use ex foliating sponge and moisturizing soap to lather and clean body
-wash hair with expensive shampoo then lovingly comb conditioner through
-finish shower and wrap hair in a towel the size of a small country
-towel dry and walk back across landing pulling dressing gown tight around the body when seeing husband
-apply three different types of moisturizer to body
-carefully pit matching outfit and blow-dry hair
-get dressed and re-apply make-up
MALE SHOWER
-get undressed throw clothes on bed
-walk across landing bollock naked gyrating hips and shouting way-hey when seeing the wife
-leave bathroom door open
-sprinkle the toilet seat and bathroom carpet whilst taking a slash
-admire manhood in bathroom mirror
-scratch bollocks and sniff
-sniff armpit to check if a shower is necessary
-breathe in and admire body in strongman type pose
-climb into shower and wash hair with first thing to hand (usually wifes expensive shampoo)
-use plain bar of soap to wash every part of body giving extra attention to arse crack and genitalls
-leave pubes on soap and put back
-towel dry with small hand towel
-walk back across landing bollock naked grabbing crotch, gyrating and shouting wey-hey
-quick spray of anti-perspirant and put yesterdays clothes back on
YOU'RE NOW BOTH READY TO GO OUT
We hope to see you all again this season . Personally we think we have one of the best teams in the UK
Wendy and Alex.
Don't forget to let us know what dates you can/can't do!
Give us a call, or email us from the direct link! Keep in touch! The kettle is always on and you're all very welcome!
